27Weekend Update
My BFFL came to visit just for the night with her dad! It was such a good reunion. We grew up together, sledding, writing, dressing siblings in their sleep and pretending to be Nancy Drew…9 years have gone by since we moved and everytime we get together it’s like no time has passed at all.
(Chelsea,Jordyn,Meghan,Erica)
Erica went down south this week and found quite a few priceless photos! All my cousins were between two years of eachother. Lots of babies! Anyways, who doesn’t like kiddie pics.
My grandma bought me dresses! How presh is that!? So, in true Wagner style, I got dressed, walked out to the field/park behind our back gate and Erica shot a few pictures.The walk was hard, but I did it! Today my head and my joints are bothering me most, I’ve got my feet in an epsom salt bath hoping to ease a little of it. But, hey it’s been a busy week, I am more than surprised that I’m not feeling worse. So PTL!
Daisy finally shaved her head today. It’s so bitter sweet.. Bitter because I will miss her hair so much; it’s funny how hair has been so elusive to her for almost half her life. But sweet because Daisy is brave and strong and has built character beyond her years. She is so much more than a pretty face. Every tough milestone, every sacrifice has had an effect on her and makes her lovelier all the time… We are blessed to call her daughter.
This 7 year old teaches me so much! She is the Daughter of Britt Merrick, a pastor in SoCal, please pray for her as she battles cancer…again.
Matching jackets for the baby’s! Thanks snuggie for making such awesome and inexpensive doggy coats (Taken with instagram)
Erica is at CCbc for the week.
Drew is coming home next week.
My auntie is here visiting.
My best Washington friend, Jordan is coming with her Daddio on Saturday.
We went to my docs, ran by orchard nutrition. I could really live in that store.
The weather is beautiful.
Fighting some pain, and waiting for the Lyme tests to come back.
The Lord will be good to me, because he always has.
Why God Created Ticks
Ok, Jordyn enough blogs already. I leave for a month and come back full force clogging your walls and feeds with my curls.
I haven’t been completely sincere, but this is from my soul. I needed to write, something thats really coming from my heart, something I’ve been meditating on, that God has shown me, and now I pass it on.
For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increases knowledge increases sorrow. Ecc1:18
Who doesn’t ask God for wisdom, for knowledge, for help, how to love and how to serve, we need what only God gives. Just As Solomon asked of God. What would it be like to above all other things to want wisdom!? That’s so amazing to me.I know I would like to know where I’ll be next month, or who I will marry, if I will, where will I live, how many people will I help. Yadda,yadda the list goes on and on, but if only to ask God for wisdom, whatever that may be, whatever He wants to show you, and however He wants to teach you. That scares my socks off.
It is only because I have gained wisdom, that I think twice every time I ask God for it. People so casually ask things of God, but are you going to be ok when He actually gives to you whatever you ask? Most times, in gaining anything, it’s going to be a painful journey. But most times one worth the suffering, the time, the anguish. To see Christ magnified in your life.
Imagine God at work for six whole days, if he can take all the disease from a person in one blink of an eye, or speak to a human soul from wherever He sits; in a simple moment, it doesn’t shock me that he has created so many animals, insects, birds as creatively and intricately as He has. But why the mosquitoes? They do nothing good, or a vulture? they’re just ugly. Or a tick?They ruin peoples lives everyday! I’m sure the title of this post caught your eye, and you thought ugh,why did He do THAT? Here it is my friends….
God has made me who I am today, every part of me. But a tick has defined how I live my life. You cannot imagine how long I have resented God’s creation because of my own pain. I have cursed the things He has done, and not seen the beauty in what He has made, but been angry because of it. Until about a week ago, while telling someone “Ticks suck, literally and figuratively” and then thought about what I just said. I hate them, I hate how they ruin lives, drive people to scary places and turn a life upside-down almost instantly. It has done that to mine and my family’s, yet it has done something even greater. Because it has driven me to hopelessness, it has driven me to find a greater hope than what this life gives. Because it has taken all our finances, we have had to look to ‘higher powers’ for provision. Because it has given me pain, I have become desperate for a world without it.
A tick drove me to God.
Everyone doesn’t take it this way; but I wish more people could, and that’s why I write I guess. Hoping that someone can read my blog and see that I have not conquered this journey on my own; not one bit.
To say that I have experienced sorrow is quite the understatement. I have wept for days, I have cried to heavens for hours at a time, I have looked for God in the darkest of places, because deep down I knew He was there. There were endless clouds hovering over my bed, but why couldn’t Christ be seen in them?
‘For in much wisdom is much grief…’ wow, it finally makes sense. Eight years of wondering why that was, looking at that sentence over and over like it was some kind of riddle.
I am definitely not here to tell you ‘Find the joy in your pain and keep loving God you sweet child of His, because He has you in His almighty hand!’ I sure can talk ‘christianese’ but it means nothing to me anymore, because no one is encouraged by knowing pain, but by knowing that when you make it out, and stumble into the light again, there will be a host of angels cheering and giving you endless high-fives, whether you see it with your eyes or see it in your heart.(1 peter 5:10)
Hey guys, it’s not about where we are; but rather where we are going. It’s gonna hurt like hell, you may experience the weeping, the gnashing of teeth and may think, ‘I am in hell’ I have felt it too, but this hell is temporary, we will make it out, and when we get to the place we belong; even though I don’t think there will be tears in heaven, but we will weep as we bow at the feet of the one who saved us, and will rejoice when those bottles with which God has collected out tears , be broken.(ps.56:8)
I cry just as I write this, because it means so much to me. Don’t blame a tick, a person, or God for where you are, but be grateful that a trial only makes a more beautiful person.
(I guess this was more so written for the person who is being tested, but if you’re not in the fire now, prepare, ready your minds. Do military troops sit on the couch watching cartoons before they ship off to war? No, they go through strenuous workouts and tests, trying them; to see if their intentions are real. Get ready, friends….
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.(eph 6:12)
Lyme maybe baby
This video my best friend shot in our home sometime in 2006. As you hear the conversation, my mom had just taken me to the doctor because I had come home from WA and had flu-like symptoms and a rash. A very nice PA thought I had Lyme and tested me with the western blot test- which of course came back negative, same as it did just 2 years ago as well. Anyways, that PA was my nurse at the hospital many times when I was going in every day for pain, she remembered me and my case and so wished that we had done a better test 6 years ago and I would not have been suffering so much now.
What a story, right? Absolutely amazing to me. Scary at the same time. Thank you Jordan for getting this on tape, love you forever!
May 16 update
When I get tired, I vlog. Love to you all, thanks for supporting me, learning with me and watching and reading my posts.
Michael Scott- conquoring depression.
this man is just beyond funny. the office isn’t even worth watching without him.
“The rest of this conversation is edited due to inappropriocity”
“This is a dream I’ve had since lunch and I am not giving it up!”
“It’s a pimple Phyllis, Avril Lavigne gets them all the time and she rocks harder than anyone I know!”
“I can’t even hear you, it’s just noise coming out of an ugly scientist” -to Pam when she wears her glasses.
“That’s what Ryan is like, a fake brother who steals your jeans!”
“I don’t want to grow a weird sperm just in case we want to have kids.”
This scene of Raising Helen will make your day! Just remember you’re not a bad person, but sometimes you make very bad decisions! haha
(And Without a Paddle, oh my lord, it’s too funny)
